So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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