I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
