Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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