Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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