eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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