evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
