The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
