do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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