So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
