We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
