He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
