Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
