so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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