you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
