I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
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we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
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I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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