can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
that is very illegal...i love you.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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