trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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