Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
