I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
