I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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