all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
