well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
