She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
