if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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