John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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