His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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