Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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