I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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