Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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