I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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