So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
