It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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