The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
