i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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