I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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