the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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