You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize