please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i dont even know how to be here
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
