Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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