I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
