That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Why is your signature on my underwear?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
