Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
