found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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