You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
