could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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