We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
