Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
