My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
