i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
