u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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