She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize