just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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