I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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