so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
