omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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