He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
