That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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