Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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