phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize