the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
