So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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