hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Found your dick twin last night
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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