i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
