I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
