The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
